coffee birthday cake

coffee birthday cake 

sponge cake 

(for 1 round 22cm / 9” cake, to be cut in 2 layers) 

4 eggs, separated 

1 cup flour 

2/3 cup sugar 

1 tbsp baking powder 

salt 

whipped cream 

750 ml whipping cream 

50 g powdered sugar 

30 g instant coffee 

soaking mixture 

200 ml lukewarm water 

juice of 1 lemon 

1 tsp vanilla essence 

3 tbsp sugar 

ground coffee, cocoa and fondant flowers for decorating 

whip the egg whites with salt until foamy, then continue adding sugar in 3-4 portions and beat until stiff 

beat egg yolks with mixer (in small bowl would do) until pale and fluffy 

mix the two on low speed 

add flour sieved with baking powder and mix delicately with rubber spatula until there are no more flour lumps 

bake for 35-40 min in 180°C (i don’t preheat my oven when i bake sponge cakes, it helps the top to be more flat as the sides seem to raise more easily) 

whip the cold cream to soft peaks, add sugar and instant coffee and mix until dissolved 

cut the cake in three layers, soak with the mixture and spread the coffee whipped cream, repeat, at the end cover the whole cake 

decorate the sides and top with ground coffee, cocoa powder and fondant / sugar flowers 

store in fridge until serving 

moving

visited 17 states (7.55%)

(create your own visited map of the world)

It's sad to look at this map, full of grey. You can so easily tell where I am from, and I love this place, but it makes me feel - confined. I imagine the vastness of the USA or Russia Canadian mountains or all the deserts, and everything here feels so small. And I need space to breathe. I love all the places full of history and art that surround me, but I need space. I have been listening to America and Born to run and California and dreaming a bit too much about places I've never been to. I haven't been really travelling for over a year - yes, I have been to the UK twice, but it was visiting someone; it was an amazing amazing time (this post). The first time, I met with my best friend and another one who came across the ocean, and we saw each other in real after 4,5 years of writing letters. The second was two weeks with my best friends, again. But I need to move, to meet new people, to see new places - the last travelling time, it was 10 days in Italy, spent in 5 different cities, couchsurfing, meeting some amazing inspirational people. I need that, I need new air and new sky and new scents, new voices, I need being alone and submerged in newness. I miss the excitements of seeing the world more than anything else. I want to live my life to the fullest, and here I can't, I just can't. So. Paris. It will finally be a step forward - I will be couchsurfing again, the two people who want to take me in seem fantastic and hopefully everything will keep changing for better (because it's Christmas, and I am Catholic and believe in God, and the last few weeks, getting up at 5:30 for a Mass, three day Retreat, renewal of Baptismal Promises, singing hymns at midnight - it's all making me change. I can see it and it makes me happy. I don't think I have been smiling that much since I was a kid.)

The next red will be France. Then hopefully Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania. Greece and Portugal, maybe, but I'm not so driven to go there. I will be going to the USA. Summer 2014 is my dream. I will be working all year after I get my degree, to save money for months in America. And after that, I don't have plans, and I'm not sure I should have plans. It's a long time to dream about. 

*

i don’t want my life to be like a novel. i have never been a novel person, i get impatient, skip paragraphs, skim pages in half-annoyed half-fascinated anticipation for the end. novels are prolix and complex and confuse everything the way that you no more know where is the story going and i do not appreciate this maze in the slightest. 

(most books i do appreciate are just overgrown stories, down to the core) 

i don’t want my life to be like a novel. in novels there is not enough place for word games and mysteries as they get too confusing if overused. i like mysteries and i like synthesis. i wish i could find a good metaphor for a novel, but at this time the only thing that stops my mind is desert and this is surely not a good word. (there’s sand in her mouth. and there’s sand in her hair. and there’s sand everywhere) i am too lazy for novels. i am too lazy for life. all i want is to be left alone quickly, with a turmoil in my head that i can turn around and observe like an ancient globe, and novels want my attention and my focus for a long time, stealing the minutes i would rather spend talking to myself and re-telling sentences, tasting them at my tongue. it takes too much time to read a novel, too much time to write a novel and too much time to live a life. (and yes, i am aware that living a life takes exactly as long as it takes) i keep telling people to shut up, in a kind elegant way, using fancy grammar structures and smiling, with a remote desire to murder them circling in my veins. wasting words. overusing words. it makes them worth just n o t h i n g.

gingerbread cookies

I would like to write something eloquent, or at least in Christmas spirit, but I'm too tired with gingerbread cookies to say anything more than: hey, I made 4 of those portions down there, yes, gingerbread cookies of 4 kg flour, welcome to my life - though 75% was for the class I had in the hospital. That's the first photo. And the following are from cookie decorating with friends, so actually not many of those are mine designs. This year, I don't feel much like decorating, despite having a vast choice of shiny sprinkles.

This particular recipe produces cookies that are crisp and hard, though they get soften and crunchier with time (or when stored in a closed box with a piece of an apple, making sure that the apple in fact doesn't touch the cookies directly) and with the unholy amount of icing that gets smeared over their surfaces.

And I am going to Paris for a week and the thought is distracting me beautifully from everything else.

(from the NaNo, yet again)
‘Are you okay?’ Silver asked, walking up to the man with his hands his in pockets, but took them out when he was a few steps away so that the man could see they were empty.

‘Why?’ the man asked, although it sounded more like a statement than a question. His voice was low and deep and instantly reminded Silver of a handful of classic rock singers, bringing a ghost of a smile to his lips.

‘I don’t know, you look distressed? And it’s late and cold and you’re just sitting here, it screams of something being wrong. You could need some help, and I can’t just – walk by.’

‘Fucking good Samaritan, huh.’

‘I guess you could say that’ Silver replied, moving from his position a few steps away from the man to sit on the stairs, still not directly next to him, but close enough. The night was colder than he had expected so he kept shivering in the thin clothes he was wearing, and the ever burning pain was lingering somewhere at the back of his head, making his neck feel stiff and uncomfortable. Sitting on a cold stone wasn’t a good thing for either of the symptoms, but he’s long decided it didn’t really matter.

‘Do you want to know my name?’ he asks after a few moments, breaking the distrustful silence.

‘Why’d I?’ the man slurred, running his hand through the dark hair and messing it up even more.

‘Dunno. But it’s Silver’ he said, raising an eyebrow at the man, and the predicted reaction followed as the man snickered incredulously. ‘I’m Silver.’

‘That really like, your name?’

‘Yep. I know it’s kind of strange, but I got used to it. People keep making fun of it all the time, though’ he added, and as soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. The man’s shoulders hunched even further that before and he turned his head away.

‘I don’t mean like asking me if I am for real, people do that all the time’ he said quickly, gaining a faint snicker from the man, and continued ‘They just give me silly nicknames and make the same old puns about how my parents didn’t love me ‘cause I am Silver and not Gold, or they bring up, umm, weird cartoons from their childhoods that I am supposed to know but I don’t, and they never believe me and say I am no fun.’

‘Your name is better than mine, at least’ the man murmured, leaning his head against shoulder. ‘Mine is Raymond’ he said with a shrug. Silver took a moment to speak.

‘Do people actually call you Raymond?’

‘Yeah, they do.’

‘I would not be happy with that either. I would call you Ray. Can I call you Ray? That is much cooler than Raymond. Like, a ray of light, or something.’

The man lifted his head and stared at Silver. His eyes were glossy, as if her was burning up, but the stare was piercing and surprisingly sharp. He blinked a few times and coughed a few times, before finally setting on saying:

‘I could guess why people make fun of you all the time. You are strange.’

gingerbread cookies 
(makes about 200)

1 kg flour
0,5 kg sugar
250 g honey
5 egg yolks
250 g butter / margarine
30 g cocoa
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2-3 tbsp gingerbread spice (i use this mix: finely ground 4 tsp powdered cinnamon, 2 tsp powdered ginger, 1 tsp cloves, ½ tsp pepper, ½ tbsp. nutmeg, 2 cardamom pods, 1 piece of anise)

melt the butter in a big pan
add sugar, honey, cocoa, spices and mix until it’s all melted and even
let it cool down (it may be warm, but watch out the temperature because you will be adding eggs)
add egg yolks, mix until combined
and flour with raising agents and mix thoroughly in the pan, then drop the dough onto a floured surface and knead until it comes together and creates a smooth ball (if it keeps crumbling, it’s ok to add 2-3 tbsp sour cream)
refrigerate the dough for at least 2 hours
roll the dough to 3-5 mm thickness, cut out your desired shapes and transfer to cookie trays
bake in 200C for 4-5 min, let cool a bit before transferring from the tray (so that they don’t break)

easy chocolate cake with vanilla frosting

easy chocolate cake with vanilla frosting
(makes one 22 cm/9” cake)

250 ml milk
150 g dark chocolate
125 g soft butter
150 g sugar
2 eggs
320 g flour
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp soda
vanilla essence

vanilla meringue buttercream (made with 2 egg whites)
gingerbread cookies (to decorate)

bring the milk to boil, take off the stove and add chocolate, stirring until it melts; set aside and let it cool down to room temperature
cream the butter with sugar and a splash of vanilla essence, then add eggs – one at time – and beet in (the batter might look a bit ‘crumbly’ and uneven at this point, but it’s okay)
combine flour, baking powder and soda
add four and chocolate milk alternatively to the batter, in 4-5 portions, mixing well after each time
pour into a pan lined with baking paper
bake for 45-50 min (until toothpick comes out clean)

decorate with buttercream and gingerbread cookies when the cake has cooled down

easy chewy & crunchy cookies

Done with NaNoWriMo I buried myself straight away with another writing project and no, it’s none of the three papers I need to write for uni, it was supposed to be just a little fanfiction thing but it’s already getting out of hand. I should have expected that. I will very probably end up with twice as much as the initial 12-15k that I planned, but it’s too much fun to stop, and involves a lot of researching strange places of the internet. 

These cookies were a bit inspired by Momofuku, mostly their continuous use of commercial candy and unusual ingredients, of which cornflakes were easiest to get my hands on. The recipes is based on my all-time favourite (and infinitely adaptable, I will be posting some more versions sometime.) They are chewy and crunchy, especially good still warm from the oven, with the coconut candy soft and tongue-burning hot, and the cereal crisp. They are also super easy, and can be done with: one bowl, one big spoon and one cookie tray, if one is persistent and patient enough. 

For those few who read this : )

Once when he was taking a walk, leaving the house to Ruby, her friends and all the kids, with his head hurting to the point of making him feel nauseous, he spotted an antiquarian bookshop in one of the main streets; it was a small place, hidden between a clothes’ shop and a pizza delivery place, with dark wooden front and big doors and the front window blocked with stacks of books. He sneaked in without hesitation, hoping that inside it would be quieter and darker and would help him calm down, taking away the too many stimuli that were in the outside world, and he immediately feel in love with the place. 

It was a long room with a doorframe at the end, leading to another long room; with simple bookshelves that screamed of their age in long rows, filled with books from the top to the bottom, leaving hardly enough space for two people to walk between them. It smelled like dust and mold, like old place and heavy spicy incense, and it was dim, with all the sunlight blocked out and only yellowish aura radiating from various antique lamps breaking the darkness. At first glance, he didn’t see anyone, but then he noticed limbs sticking out from behind one of the shelves, and a moment later a middle aged man with curly greyish hair and all denim attire emerged and greeted him. 

‘Welcome’ the man said, his voice was low and loud and so warm, and Silver couldn’t help but smile with happiness of meeting someone genuinely using the world ‘welcome’. 

‘Good morning’ he replied, beaming slightly, and the man moved to behind a counter placed on left from the door, with albums full of old photographs and postcards making it almost impossible to see a person behind them. 

‘Are you looking for anything specific that I could help you with?’ 

‘Well, not really, but thank you’ Silver replied and the man’s face fell, so he added ‘I came in mostly by accident, haven’t noticed this place before. I’m visiting someone on the town. And the outside is so… overwhelming today’ he said truthfully, feeling like lying to the man would disappoint both of them, which was a strange thought. 

‘There are three more rooms, in the back – the lights are on. Feel free. I shall be here, in this room, in case someone comes.’ 

‘Do many people come here, sir?’ Silver asked curiously, looking around to take in all the details of the interior: the wooden, dark brown floor; paintings, real paintings on the ceiling, an old gramophone hidden between what looked like old encyclopedias. 

‘Not enough’ the man replied, sounding slightly amused with being called a sir.

easy chewy & crunchy cookies

200 g softened butter
300 g sugar
1 large egg
300 g flour
1 ½ tsp baking powder
¼ tbs salt
vanilla essence
~1 cup cornflakes
150 g mini coconut ball candy (the closest I found outside of Polish ‘draże’ is something like Dippin’ Candy; it could be also any kind of similar candy, milk flavoured should go well)


cream the butter with sugar until pale and fluffy
add the egg and a splash of vanilla essence; beat well
add the flour, baking powder and salt, mix with a spatula
mix in the cornflakes and candy
bake in 180C for 8-10 min

mini no bake celebration torte

I have been taking a short break from anything that required a lot of attention or effort. A well-deserved break, I hope, after a whole month of 3,4,5 hours writing a day. I finished my novel (now called ‘Kaleidoscope’) at 141 229 words, written within 30 days of November. Within the last seven days I wrote 50k words, which kind of beats my record of ~50k in 10 days. And sets 10k as the most I managed to write within one day. Now it’s time for editing, the least pleasurable of all parts of the process, but I hope to enjoy myself this time. There wasn’t enough time to read and re-read the story while writing it, so I am quite sure there are some mysteries I wrote without realizing them much waiting to be discovered.

As my protagonist says: 

‘I used to sit in front of my computer and type, let my hands hoover over the keyboard for a few moments before they fell, like a moment of silence and anticipation before a symphony starts, rapidly and loudly and heart-wrenchingly; and it is me playing all the instruments, it is me being the conductor and the audience and the musicians all at the same time.’ 

So after I finished writing, a few moments before midnight, I saved the files and made backup copies just in case, and laughed and laughed and laughed - it was such an amazing feeling, to show yourself that you are able of something so incredible, that everyone is despite what some people like to claim. Then there was a celebratory pizza at 2 a.m. and reading stories that I had waiting in line for several days, until 4, and then falling asleep with a smile. The next two weekend days were lazy and busy at the same time: I baked a few dozen of huge gingerbread cookies in addition to the 300 baked on Tuesday, for a decorating class I prepared for kids us volunteers take care of; it took place on Sunday morning, and turned out to be a successful but exhausting fun. So the rest of time I spent reading, reading, reading, and making art. Perfect. 

‘You have thanked me too many times. Stop. It’s okay. I’m fine, you are fine. Everything is fine. Besides, it’s a museum. When people stare at you, you can assume that is because you are as much of a fine example of human beauty as any of the ancient sculptures.’ 

‘… you are completely crazy’ she commented drily, though Silver could hear the laughter in her voice. 

‘Sure thing, buttercup – we moving?’ 

‘Yes’ she replied with a deep sigh. ‘Let’s rule.’ 

This time stepping into the elevator was easier and well-executed with quick movements and easy stances as the machine brought them down, to level zero, and it was downhill from there: Tiana loved the museum and giggled like a teenage fangirl in front of Dali’s works, not to mention the biggest renaissance and romanticism names; he took her to his favourite spots and they talked all the time, successfully managing to ignore everyone around. They emerged from the museum just a few minutes before closing time with a bag filled with souvenirs with reproductions of famous paintings and clever modern art prints. 

It was seven when they left, so they were pretty hungry, not having eaten anything since breakfast. So there was fried pizza from Silver’s favorite street vendor in one of the big squares and then cotton candy that he kept in his left hand; they both tried to eat without getting too messy and almost managed. 

Done with the food and hands cleaned with Tiana’s carry-on pack of wet wipes, they were sitting by a fountain in at the edge of a park, observing the city as it lit up as the sun was setting, one light changing into another fluently and deceptively easy. They ended up talking about Silver moving out since it was a hot topic at the moment, when suddenly an elderly man appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a worn out suit of exactly the same color as his mouse grey reclining hair; he had big plastic glasses that made him look like hipster, and pair of shiny black shoes. 

‘Forgive me the interruption’ he said in a low voice, his nasals long and r vibrating ‘but I overheard what you were talking about.’ 

no bake mini layer torte 

(makes 1)

10 tea biscuits (I used rectangular) 

100 ml whipped cream 

swiss meringue buttercream amount: made with 1 egg white 

spread a bit of whipped cream on each biscuits and put them on the top of each other 

decorate with the buttercream to your wish (i used vanilla flavour for the blue decoration and a drop of rose water for the white lace) 

let it stay in room temperature for at least 3-4 hours so that the biscuits turn moist and soft from 

refrigerate before serving